Property Grunt

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Justice is served!

They posed as wealthy apartment buyers, but turned out to be an upscale version of Thelma and Louise who pilfered diamonds and furs from luxury Manhattan pads.

Jessica Joyner, 39, and Jennifer Jones, 33, who both live in swanky upper East Side digs, were nabbed after being chased from an open house they were allegedly attempting to rip off, cops said Sunday.

The devious duo, who look more like preppies than perps, were charged with petty larceny, grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property, and were to be arraigned today.

Cops believe Joyner and Jones have been pulling their bogus-buyer scam since early October, dressing in designer duds to fit in as elite real estate browsers.

Joyner, a divorcee, even drives a 2003 Jaguar XJ8. She lives in an E. 94th St. apartment and owns a $645,000 home in the Hamptons.

Her former mother-in-law, Mary Cannon, expressed shock last night when she heard of the arrest.

"I haven't seen her for a long time," Cannon said of Joyner.

Joyner had been a vice president for a global information, technology and marketing firm with offices in Washington and New Jersey.

On the company's Web site, she boasts of having 15 years' "experience negotiating, managing and promoting affinity relationships with Fortune 500 companies." She also claims to have once owned her own consulting company, ICMG.

Jones, previously of Southampton, L.I., recently moved into a rent-stabilized apartment on E. 75th St., where neighbors have complained of her littering the courtyard with cigarette butts.

Cops said that while touring the multimillion-dollar apartments, one woman would distract the real estate agent while the other swiped everything she could get her sticky manicured fingers on.

Cops said a broker recently caught them in the act and yelled, "What are you doing?" when he saw them clearing shelves during an open house.

Sources said Joyner and Jones bolted from the apartment, but the broker raced after them, getting the license plate number of their getaway car.

Using the plate number, cops tracked down one of the women, who gave up her partner, police said.

Joyner, a blond with a horsy smile, and Jones, a sexy brunette, allegedly stole with discriminating tastes, police said.

They are accused of taking handbags, a Tiffany clock, earrings, diamond rings, clothes, a wallet, a Coach backpack and even a fur coat.

The pair hit ritzy apartments on both the East and West sides of Manhattan, ripping off at least five high-end addresses.

Among the buildings they targeted were 14 E. 96th St., 4 E. 82nd St. and 2373 Broadway, where they allegedly stole a diamond eternity band.

It is shocking enough that one of them wasn't a drag queen, but these are women of means. I would never justify theft, but it appears that these women who have no need to rip people off. I hope they throw the book at them.

And in other news about douchebags getting what they deserve.

Brooke Astor’s only son and one of her former lawyers have been indicted on criminal charges stemming from the stewardship of her financial affairs and the handling of her will, according to people who were briefed on the situation.

Her son, Anthony D. Marshall, 83, and the lawyer, Francis X. Morrissey Jr., have been told to surrender to authorities today, those who were briefed said.

A Manhattan grand jury has been hearing evidence from witnesses since mid-September, following an investigation by the district attorney’s office into, among other issues, the management of Mrs. Astor’s fortune by Mr. Marshall as well as Mr. Morrissey’s role in the signing of a third amendment to her 2002 will.

The exact charges against the two men, who have been partners in a theater production company, were not known late yesterday.

Prosecutors were believed to be investigating millions of dollars in cash, property and stocks that Mr. Marshall obtained over the years in his role as steward of his mother’s finances

They say blood is thicker than water. But Brooke Astor had a f**king tidal wave backing her up which is going to smash her son.

I have nothing but contempt for this man. Brooke Astor was an amazing woman who sought to only give to others and her son treated her like his own private ATM machine. In her final days she was nearly doomed to live them out in a wretched lifestyle. Fortunately this is a woman who not only made friends but kept them.

I have no idea what possessed this a**hole to do what he did. From what I have read and know about this class of people, pretty much everything is within their reach. Maybe he had a rotten childhood. I don't know. He had enough money to get a good therapist.

Even if he goes to jail, I don't see him staying very long. Unfortunately.

But I do know that once he breathes his last breath, he is going to have a lot to answer for.