Act Your Age

If I am ready to throwdown with an old man, then you know I am just getting started.



Yesterday I was at my local Duane Reade taking care of some business. I was standing in front of the counter processing my transaction when this old man walked up to me and kicked a basket that was on the floor into my leg. It didn’t hurt me but it startled me and I responded by saying WTF very loudly. The old man proceeded to walk past me and ignore my demands to know what the f**k was the matter with him. You see, I was really pissed because it was completely intentional and obnoxious what he did and he confirmed my suspicions by not stopping to apologize. There was no reason for this man to act this way and I was not letting him off that easy.

I muttered under my breath that he was refuse from holding area for double wides and found that he may have been old but he had good hearing. He stopped turned around and in his best Clint Eastwood impression said

“You better watch what you say.”

I don’t know about you all when I hear that expression, I take that as a very subtle yet powerful threat. All he had to do was add the word “boy” and it would have been a scene straight out of Mississippi Burning. That really pissed me off. The f**king gall this piece of s**t had to even try to intimidate me after being the cause of this turmoil.

With my arms raised to shoulder height and my palms faced up I yelled out to him
“What are you going to do?”
When you translate my words and body language, I basically said “Please f**k with me. I dare you.”

Realizing that I called his bluff he turned around cursing under his breath and left.

Yeah, I know. I am really brave for taking on an octogenarian but here’s the thing. This was an old white man dressed impeccably in a suit, overcoat and hat. He practically walked out of a Brooks Brothers store. Call me a classist but these aspects identified him as a person of proper breeding and education. In other words this douchebag should know better than to act in that fashion.

It doesn't matter whether you are he was white, black, asian or latino. When you come from that type of background, you must hold yourself to a higher standard.

I suspect this man is harboring a tremendous amount of resentment towards the world. In the past couple of months he probably has seen his net worth been reduced to shambles. Maybe his house in Greenwich is being foreclosed on. He feels the need to lash out at someone, so he does it at someone he perceives as weaker, which was a young whipper snapper at the Duane Reade.

I have nothing against the elderly. In fact I was raised to respect them and I know that one day I will be joining their ranks. I just hope though that I will at least have the dignity and self respect that reflect my years and not that of someone who feels robbed, like this man.

If there was a funny part of that incident it was that, I did not have a bonus card. Luckily there was an African American gentleman who was more than happy to provide his and help me. I suspect the reason why he went out of his way to help me was that he witnessed what happened.