Property Grunt

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Starcrossed Lovers

Cue Romeo and Juliet trailer.


The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and stupid. Correction just stupid. There are no innocent people in this story.

Over a year ago, two roommates realized they were in love with each other This was no easy feat for these two people had been involved in a tumultuous love triangle involving another party. Both roommates decided to cut ties with that party and decided to focus on each other.

According to them, the intensity of the relationship was just too much. So they decided to part ways and live in separate homes while seeing each other.

Cue dramatic music



They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder but in this case it just made them yearn for each other even more and it was decided that they would move back in together. One of the roommates had already had a place in the city and it was decided that the other roommate would join them.

Cue rain of flower petals


They eagerly displayed their love for each other online. They would post pictures of their adventures together. They publicly extolled their love of each other. The roommate who had moved in even brought the other roommate to their home to visit their family during the holidays. It was bliss. At least on the surface.

Cue Hank Williams.


One day, the roommate who had moved in received information from an anonymous source that the love of their life was cheating on them. And the acting home wrecker was the person that was the third piece from their love triangle. Someone that they thought they had cut ties with. Or at least the roommate who had been betrayed thought had cut ties with.

The roommate confronted the other who confessed to everything. To add insult to injury, the acts of betrayal took place on the same bed the two roommates shared.

Cue End of Days


Upon hearing that information, the betrayed roommate went on a rampage and began to destroy everything in site, particularly items of strong sentimental value. The betrayed roommate rage was so strong that the thought of napalming the violated bed entered their mind.

The betrayed roommate decided to pick up stakes and go back home.

Cue Kevin Bacon movie


Now with the betrayed roommate gone, the original roommate who was renting the apartment under their name was now in a bind. They were already a month behind rent and would have to move elsewhere.

Cue Which One?


Who is the loser?

The betrayed roommate?

The roommate who cheated on the other roommate?

The third party in the love triangle?

Answer: None of the above. The loser is the landlord.

The landlord is getting screwed because of the rent is not getting paid on time and eventually they will have a vacant apartment and will most likely never recover their rent. The landlord should have never rented out to this couple in the first place.

Traitor roommate is currently focused on their collegiate career which means they have no money and lots and lots of debt. Parental support is minimal at best.

Betrayed roommate has no parental support whatsoever and at the time was working not one but two entry level jobs.

These are the type of clients that landlords dread since they either have no income or very little coming in.

I have no idea how they got this far, apparently a broker was involved so it would not surprise me that broker exercised creative accounting in order to make them more presentable to the landlord.

When it comes to prospective tenants. Look at the numbers and their sources of income. Is the income stream stable or erratic? Certain types of occupations should raise red flags. As long as a landlord is aware of that, then they are able to lower their eviction rate.