Property Grunt

Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween: No treats here.

Last Saturday I was at a Halloween party where I scarfed candy, cookies and other diabetic coma inducing treats. It was there I ran into a couple from Staten Island that I had met before a previous party. We talked about real estate and they mentioned they have noticed the number of foreclosures has gone up in Staten Island. Hmmm. I see opportunity in distressed properties.

I wanted to stay longer and indulge in drunken Trivial Pursuit but no I couldn't. Do you know why? Because I had to work at open houses on Sunday. The one thing I do lament about this job is that my Sundays are pretty much shot to hell. I should be thankful. When I did rentals the word weekends did not exist. God, I was miserable.

Another open house has come and gone. But still no change. I am still experiencing very light traffic from the open houses. The game of chicken is still on and the sellers are slowly starting to blink with price reductions. But it seems on my end buyers are still waiting it out.

But us brokers are still keeping a happy face. Recently Curbed posted a New York magazine column Vu profiling buyers who were visiting open houses. It is a great PR piece and I am sure agents are ecstatic for any propaganda to help with the masqerade.

What I have noticed recently is that buyers are boldly putting foot to ass to the apartments they see. Even the most minor of injuries ranging from normal wear and tear of floors to the dullness of bathroom tiles stands out and are considered to be a great offense in their eyes and does not justify the price since it would require further funding on the buyers end.

Dear buyers. Please don't waste my f**king time. If you like the apartment but are not too crazy about the price put an offer you feel reflects the true value of the apartment and then tell me why you feel your offer is fair. Three things will happen. The offer will be accepted, rejected, or countered. You don't have the right to complain until I see proof you are someone serious.

Things like paint, refinishing floors and cleaning up the tiles are some of the minor and inevitable costs of buying an apartment. It is all normal wear and tear. Please recognize this. And if you are just engaging in this type of behavior because you want to blow off steam. Don't. I know for a fact there are some brokers who are not nice as I am and any attack you make on the apartment is something they will take personally.

Whenever buyers air their grieveances about the apartment, I simply nod and smile while thinking to myself how did my life go so terribly wrong. As soon as they are done I say goodbye, shut the door and look at my watch praying that it will all be over soon.