Banking her Sex and the City dreams on a no fee budget
The Grunt come across this entry on Stephanie Klein's blog.
After the Grunt stopped laughing he realized she was being serious and then shook his head in disbelief. Stephanie is endemic of New Yorkers who are searching for the holy grail which is a no fee apartment in Manhattan.
The Grunt does not like these types of clients for three reasons.
Unaware: They don't know what is out on the market and they need to be educated. When the Grunt first started out he was told to work with no fee clients and show them what they get for no fee and convert by showing them what they could get for a fee. This never, ever, ever worked. That is why the Grunt never works with no fee clients.
Unrealistic: Because of their lack of education, no fee clients expectations of what they can get are completely unrealistic. And when a broker shows them a no fee apartment, the client becomes angry and dejected blaming the broker for their misfortune. There is also skepticism on the no fee client's partfeeling as if the broker is holding out on them.
Unreliable: Just like craigslist users, no fee clients have most likely called ten other brokers and will go with the better deal.
No fees do not exist in the areas of Union Square and the West Village since they are extremely popular. No fee apartments are most likely located in less desireable areas like York and 1st on the upper eastside.
Stephanie's desire to avoid fee a will not happen if she is dealing with a broker. A no fee usally amounts to one months rent which is paid by the owner to the broker therefor Stephanie will have to kick in the rest which comes out to 10%.
Her requirements are not in sync with her budget.
Landlords have a strong dislike for dogs because of barking, crapping, the potential damage inflicted onto property and they can also injure other tenants resulting in a lawsuit. Cats are ok. They are quiet and usally stay indoors and have no desire to jump on top of you and hump your leg. Dishwashers cost money to install and maintain in an apartment and the landlord will factor these costs in the rent, passing it along to the tenant.
queen sized bed are words that will give her a problem. West village apartments are notorious for being cozy, aka small since they are prewar buildings that have charm but little space. Back in the day when they were built tenants did not fathom having a queen sized bed. Hell, beds were probably a luxury back then and you were lucky if you got a pillow. She might have better luck in Union square. There are some post wars that have enough room to accomdate the bed. However the combination office area in the bedroom is not going to happen, not at that budget.
Stephanie seems like a nice girl albeit completely oblivious that brokers don't care for dinners or dates. What they care about is cold hard cash. And they are willing to provide the services needed in exchange for that reward. The Grunt suggests that Stephanie move to Queens or the Bronx. She can definitely find a huge apartment for that amount of money. Better yet she should consider buying. Considering the massive windfall she is on her way to recieve from with Judith she could easily afford a down payment on an apartment and the rent money could go towards a monthly mortgage. And from personal experience, Judtih pays very well.
Grunt suggest that Stephanie not tell a broker that she is looking for a no fee because they will either hang up on her or a broker will take her out to the no fees in her budget which will mostly likely be complete pieces of crap and attempt to convert her then she will be very unhappy and blame the broker and the broker will be angry at her for spinning their wheels.
The only thing that she is going for her is the cold weather which is a deterrent for apartment hunters and creates a dynamic for deals. But spring is around the corner and if last spring is an indication of what will happen she better get started on her search and be willing to make compromises because Manhattan will be overrun with apartment seekers.
Remember Stephanie, Sex and the City was a tv show. This is real life.
I'm actively looking. There. Big shock. I need to meet a man.
... who works in real estate who won't charge me a broker fee. Come on, someone who reads this has to know one. Don't tell me to go on craigslist or buy a no-fee apartment book. Don't tell me to call management companies and start asking. I want names. Give me the name of a broker who won't charge me a broker fee, and I'll date him if he finds me an apartment. Shit, I'll even pay for dinner.
I'm looking for a 1 bedroom apartment (no, I said 1 bedroom, not alcove studio) in the West Village or Union Square area only. No, I won't live in the Financial District or Chelsea. They must take dogs (Linus is 16 lbs.). The apartment must have a dishwasher, laundry in the building, and have a living room big enough to accommodate both a living room set up and a dining room table. I love to cook and need space to entertain. The bedroom must accommodate a queen sized bed and an office area. I will not spend more than $2600 per month.
Like a whore, I'm one owner away from the streets. Whatevs.
After the Grunt stopped laughing he realized she was being serious and then shook his head in disbelief. Stephanie is endemic of New Yorkers who are searching for the holy grail which is a no fee apartment in Manhattan.
The Grunt does not like these types of clients for three reasons.
Unaware: They don't know what is out on the market and they need to be educated. When the Grunt first started out he was told to work with no fee clients and show them what they get for no fee and convert by showing them what they could get for a fee. This never, ever, ever worked. That is why the Grunt never works with no fee clients.
Unrealistic: Because of their lack of education, no fee clients expectations of what they can get are completely unrealistic. And when a broker shows them a no fee apartment, the client becomes angry and dejected blaming the broker for their misfortune. There is also skepticism on the no fee client's partfeeling as if the broker is holding out on them.
Unreliable: Just like craigslist users, no fee clients have most likely called ten other brokers and will go with the better deal.
No fees do not exist in the areas of Union Square and the West Village since they are extremely popular. No fee apartments are most likely located in less desireable areas like York and 1st on the upper eastside.
Stephanie's desire to avoid fee a will not happen if she is dealing with a broker. A no fee usally amounts to one months rent which is paid by the owner to the broker therefor Stephanie will have to kick in the rest which comes out to 10%.
Her requirements are not in sync with her budget.
They must take dogs (Linus is 16 lbs.). The apartment must have a dishwasher, laundry in the building, and have a living room big enough to accommodate both a living room set up and a dining room table. I love to cook and need space to entertain. The bedroom must accommodate a queen sized bed and an office area. I will not spend more than $2600 per month.
Landlords have a strong dislike for dogs because of barking, crapping, the potential damage inflicted onto property and they can also injure other tenants resulting in a lawsuit. Cats are ok. They are quiet and usally stay indoors and have no desire to jump on top of you and hump your leg. Dishwashers cost money to install and maintain in an apartment and the landlord will factor these costs in the rent, passing it along to the tenant.
queen sized bed are words that will give her a problem. West village apartments are notorious for being cozy, aka small since they are prewar buildings that have charm but little space. Back in the day when they were built tenants did not fathom having a queen sized bed. Hell, beds were probably a luxury back then and you were lucky if you got a pillow. She might have better luck in Union square. There are some post wars that have enough room to accomdate the bed. However the combination office area in the bedroom is not going to happen, not at that budget.
Stephanie seems like a nice girl albeit completely oblivious that brokers don't care for dinners or dates. What they care about is cold hard cash. And they are willing to provide the services needed in exchange for that reward. The Grunt suggests that Stephanie move to Queens or the Bronx. She can definitely find a huge apartment for that amount of money. Better yet she should consider buying. Considering the massive windfall she is on her way to recieve from with Judith she could easily afford a down payment on an apartment and the rent money could go towards a monthly mortgage. And from personal experience, Judtih pays very well.
Grunt suggest that Stephanie not tell a broker that she is looking for a no fee because they will either hang up on her or a broker will take her out to the no fees in her budget which will mostly likely be complete pieces of crap and attempt to convert her then she will be very unhappy and blame the broker and the broker will be angry at her for spinning their wheels.
The only thing that she is going for her is the cold weather which is a deterrent for apartment hunters and creates a dynamic for deals. But spring is around the corner and if last spring is an indication of what will happen she better get started on her search and be willing to make compromises because Manhattan will be overrun with apartment seekers.
Remember Stephanie, Sex and the City was a tv show. This is real life.
posted by Grunt at
6:43 PM
