Introducing the Bullseye Tax Cut
Let's all let loose a a collective wail of agony as once again the office Washington has f**ked us over.
So why? Why has Washington forsaken us? Why are cities like Omaha and Louiville are higher on the list of priorities for terror funding? What is the logice behind these decisions. Here's what I have come up with.
1.Since New York City is the epicenter of finance, there is a ton of rich people living here and everyone wants to live here because those other cities that higher up on the list suck ass, Washington probably thinks that the big apple moneybaggers can surely make up for the loss of funding with their own deep pockets.
Yes, it is true, there is alot of money in this town but that doesn't mean people are going to share it. Some of the smartest financial wizards work in this town and one of the reasons why they stick around is because of the incentives. And as much as they love New York, if another place offers them a better deal and NYC is pressing for them to put more in the kitty, they are out of here.
2. Our president hates New York City. No. I'm kidding. He just strongly dislikes it. No. I'm kidding. Joke. Joke. Laugh with me folks. I don't think he hates New York City, is just that protecting it is not a high priority on his list. However this could be a grave miscalculation on his part because if, god forbid, another terrorist attack were to occur in NYC he most likely would not last the remainder of his term. There would be a vote of no confidence across the board including his own party and the country would demand that he turn in his keys for the White House. And no photo op with the NYFD will change that.
3. With the November election coming up this could last one for the road for the Republican party. With the situation in Iraq, Afghanistan, a potential front opening up in Iran and let's not forget those oil prices, there are alot of voters spoiling for a change. Which means there maybe alot of Republicans out of work after November, so they better line up to the trough before the check comes due.
This all looks like a complete killshot for the Democrats but this is actually a double edged sword for the Jackass party, particularly for Hillary Rodham Clinton. If they do manage to takeover the House and Senate, there will be a huge expectation that New York City will be bumped up the top of the guest list for terror funding. If that doesn't happen and New York City gets overtaken by Omaha again, Hillary might as well pucker up her lips and kiss her presidential aspirations goodbye because New Yorkers will be beyond pissed and she has hard enough time looking good nationally. Hell, New Yorkers might even show up in Omaha and turn the city upside down just to make sure the city uses those funds properly.
So what do we do in the meantime? Well funny you mention that. I actually have a suggestion that could bring us out of this terror fund funk. Inspired by our President's fondness for tax cuts I propose that New York City receive the Bullseye Tax Cut.
I call it the Bullseye Tax Cut since New York City has already been proven to be a bullseye for terrorist activity and since we are forced to fend for ourselves because Washington is unable or unwilling to assist us financially, it is only proper that a tax cut is given to New Yorkers to give them further leverage to fight terrorism. Hence the term Bullseye Tax Cut.
For whatever reason Washington deems that Omaha and Louisville take higher precedence over New York City, which has already experienced terrorism unlike these cities. Who are we to argue with the political braintrust that has a track record for dealing with disasters including Katrina.
I am sure those cities will not miss our share of the pot. Afterall they are getting more than enough from Washington and there is no reason for them to complain since they are not even sharing the fraction of the risk that New York City deals with on a daily basis.
What do you think folks? Should we send this to our representatives?
So why? Why has Washington forsaken us? Why are cities like Omaha and Louiville are higher on the list of priorities for terror funding? What is the logice behind these decisions. Here's what I have come up with.
1.Since New York City is the epicenter of finance, there is a ton of rich people living here and everyone wants to live here because those other cities that higher up on the list suck ass, Washington probably thinks that the big apple moneybaggers can surely make up for the loss of funding with their own deep pockets.
Yes, it is true, there is alot of money in this town but that doesn't mean people are going to share it. Some of the smartest financial wizards work in this town and one of the reasons why they stick around is because of the incentives. And as much as they love New York, if another place offers them a better deal and NYC is pressing for them to put more in the kitty, they are out of here.
2. Our president hates New York City. No. I'm kidding. He just strongly dislikes it. No. I'm kidding. Joke. Joke. Laugh with me folks. I don't think he hates New York City, is just that protecting it is not a high priority on his list. However this could be a grave miscalculation on his part because if, god forbid, another terrorist attack were to occur in NYC he most likely would not last the remainder of his term. There would be a vote of no confidence across the board including his own party and the country would demand that he turn in his keys for the White House. And no photo op with the NYFD will change that.
3. With the November election coming up this could last one for the road for the Republican party. With the situation in Iraq, Afghanistan, a potential front opening up in Iran and let's not forget those oil prices, there are alot of voters spoiling for a change. Which means there maybe alot of Republicans out of work after November, so they better line up to the trough before the check comes due.
This all looks like a complete killshot for the Democrats but this is actually a double edged sword for the Jackass party, particularly for Hillary Rodham Clinton. If they do manage to takeover the House and Senate, there will be a huge expectation that New York City will be bumped up the top of the guest list for terror funding. If that doesn't happen and New York City gets overtaken by Omaha again, Hillary might as well pucker up her lips and kiss her presidential aspirations goodbye because New Yorkers will be beyond pissed and she has hard enough time looking good nationally. Hell, New Yorkers might even show up in Omaha and turn the city upside down just to make sure the city uses those funds properly.
So what do we do in the meantime? Well funny you mention that. I actually have a suggestion that could bring us out of this terror fund funk. Inspired by our President's fondness for tax cuts I propose that New York City receive the Bullseye Tax Cut.
I call it the Bullseye Tax Cut since New York City has already been proven to be a bullseye for terrorist activity and since we are forced to fend for ourselves because Washington is unable or unwilling to assist us financially, it is only proper that a tax cut is given to New Yorkers to give them further leverage to fight terrorism. Hence the term Bullseye Tax Cut.
For whatever reason Washington deems that Omaha and Louisville take higher precedence over New York City, which has already experienced terrorism unlike these cities. Who are we to argue with the political braintrust that has a track record for dealing with disasters including Katrina.
I am sure those cities will not miss our share of the pot. Afterall they are getting more than enough from Washington and there is no reason for them to complain since they are not even sharing the fraction of the risk that New York City deals with on a daily basis.
What do you think folks? Should we send this to our representatives?
posted by Grunt at
10:51 PM
