Property Grunt

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Drinking for the Holidays

I never realized how alcohol was so important at Christmas/Hannukah parties until I got my license. A couple I am very good friends invited me to their annual holiday shindig which included copious amounts of alcohol and a viewing of the Star Wars Holiday Special. I was told that it was actually 4 hours long. And I can't figure why the hell Jefferson Starship appeared on the show.

One of the reasons why I hate holiday parties is that as soon as I tell people what I do, I get carpet bombed by questions about how the market is. Or what is a good deal? Then I have to go into my spiel about that I have no idea and that maybe if you opened a New York Times and read once in your life you would be able to figure it out. But I say it in a nice way. When you have do that song and dance every 10 mintues, well it get really f**king old.

What is also annoying is the suspicious glances of peopel thinking I am trying to pick up buyers and listings. In reality, I just want to get loaded and hopefully hook up with a girl who is lonely and desperate from the holidays but is not interested in committnet which of course has never happened because all the girls I meet at these parties are either married, have boyfriends or girlfriends.

Perhaps my most memorable conversation occured yesterday when I was speaking to a young lady. She was transplant from Tennesse and from the way she dressed I could see why she never wanted to go back. She was decked out in red white candy cane stockings and a black top. The necklace she wore around her neck was a simpy cord with various geometric shapes in red. Her hair was quite unusual because it was a mutatation of a bob and bed head. It was very 80's. The way she talked was definitely not southern. In fact she sounded like she was from Greenwich, Connecticut. What was really annoying was the fact that I wasn't sure if she was joking or being saracstic from her tone of voice.

She briefed ,e that she coordinated photo shoots but she was an artist on the side. I told her I was in real estate.

"On weekends I usually show apartments and do openhouses."

"That sounds horrible."

Without missing a beat.

"Yeah. It is."

Pass the stoli.